Terre Haute Life

The Joerb

2009-02-23T00:07:00.003-05:00

So any many/all of you know I got a job last summer working in Indianapolis making autonomous robots. I love my job. I really like where I work but being in a start-up company is risky. With the economy the way it is, we had to scale back part of the operation. About a third of the staff was laid-off and the remaining people took a twenty percent wage decrease.

I'm still with the company, and I have a lot of faith in the company and our product. It is sad to see those guys go. They were all a big part of the organization, and with approx. 30 employees everyone is a big part.

It just seems like we'll have to each take up a little more responsibility and try to ride out this rough patch.

So it is probably gonna be a long, rough few months.

16 Facts

2009-01-24T01:40:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted on here in quite some time and I doubt anyone reads it but I wanted to write a 16 Facts thing and there wasn't much of a better place than this to do it. So here it goes.

1. I want to watch the Daily Show regularly, but I never do.
2. I am very picky about shoes, so much so that it took me nearly 3 months to purchase my current pair.
3. I don't associate myself with either political party.
4. I want to run for some kind of political office, but I have a very strong feeling I wouldn't get elected.
5. I've earned my Triple Crown(Eagle Scout, Vigil and Minisino) in Boy Scouts.
6. Until my senior year of college I didn't know what I wanted to do with my degree.
7. I have a hard time remembering things, so I write notes to myself, a lot.
8. I haven't been clean-shaven since my junior year of college.
9. I'm a beer snob.
10. It bothers me when code isn't properly formatted or commented. Enough to where I usually will fix it.
11. I've always thought about getting a tattoo, but I don't have anything I want to permanently mark myself with.
12. I really regret sleeping through a lot of classes in high school.
13. I hate to eat at most chain restaurants. I prefer to eat at local establishments.
14. I'm not very good about saving money.
15. I think bumper stickers are tacky.
16. After eating Subway every day for two years while at Rose, I can barely stand it today.

Maybe I'll start writing here more often.

Oh yeah un-huh

2007-04-30T08:38:00.000-04:00

Burning a door in the back of my mind

2007-04-21T14:49:00.000-04:00

So I kicked the FE's ass. The best part about it was Dr. Black (Col. Sanders, for those of you who don't go to rose), handing me a $100 bill when I was done. Good feeling.

Watching dawn ignite around me, I’m alive in the gloam

2007-04-01T03:18:00.000-04:00

First off I would like to thank the froshies: Greg, JK, Pope and Pete you guys give me hope for the future and make me very happy. Honestly I'm very happy to know all of you. I've tried to express that tonight, but Lord knows I'm intoxicated. All of my drama club friends, I love you all. You are the best friends I have ever known. I'm not sure what I'll do next year without you. It is hard to express what I mean/feel with all of you. This is probably something I will be doing over the next 6 weeks before I'm done here. So expect a heart to heart from me soon if you are in the drama club.

Life has been rough. These next six weeks will be some of the toughest of my life. I've got to knuckle down and make it happen though. Senior design, Scapin and classes will make it rough.

I had a great conversation with some I dearly miss. I feel the need to reconnect with my past. The people who have helped me be who I am make me happy.

I love Blast. Who can't, seriously. The music is so amazing. As much as I hate Appalachian Spring as a song, they preform it so well I can't help but like it.

My thumb really hurts, not sure why/how.

I think I need to focus on me.

Maybe I know what my problem is. Maybe...

Jump like a Willy in Four Wheel Drive

2007-02-15T00:59:00.000-05:00

End of term. I've got one more left before I'm supposed to move on with my life. No job right now. Not too many companies seem interested, not from lack of effort on my part though. I've been doing everything that I'm supposed to, but not luck yet. Makes me think I'm the only one left without a job. Even if I'm not it sure as hell feels that way. I've been listening to nothing but the Grateful Dead, American Beauty, to be exact. I'm not sure what that says about me. I have a hard time connecting with music that was written in the post 2000 age. Maybe my recent ~~obsession~~ enjoyment of nothing by tv shows and movies has caused me to stop liking music. Oh a package, I wonder what is in it. I know it is from my grandmother without even reading the label. Who else would send me a package on every major holiday? I wonder how long my knife will stay as sharp as it is right now. God, I hope I don't fuck up this presentation tomorrow. Maybe I was born in the wrong decade. Is there such a thing as lack of temporal identity. That would be kind of cool to look into. Maybe I shouldn't have been an engineer. Well it is too late to do much else right now. Lord knows I don't want to go back to college. Why did I decide to write in a sort of stream of consciousness manner. You wouldn't believe what I told you about my music tastes if you look at my itunes. This web 2.0 trend is nice. Everything has the capability to do everything else. Like blogger just spell checked this as I typed it. Why do I always misspell just and the. Why do I identify with Modest Mouse. Whenever I hear their music in a commercial it makes my day. The Dandy Warhols hit a home run with bohemian like you, too bad no one has heard of them/it. New modest mouse album, awesome. The preview on itunes is amazing, you should listen to it right now. I'll wait till you are done. Well that is a lie, I'm typing this without any external input from my audience, you. Why are all of modest mouse's album titles contradictions, or at least opposites, sort of. Another thing on the list of life goals is to see them in concert. At the tourney, when I was drunk why was I obsessively singing cooking wine. Ever felt the need to suppress your use of question marks. Question mark is a lame name for a piece of punctuation. Same goes for exclamation point. There is no mystery as to what it is. No bullshit coming out of those, but those stupid colons, now that is a mystery. The GM commercial that was played during the superbowl was genius. I don't care about hurt feelings and not being sensitive, it was amazing. I laughed out loud, something that doesn't happen very often. Is there a social pressure to laugh when other people do. All of you nerds should look up the band Barcelona on wiki. Amazing nerd rock/pop. Why do I like ska music so much. Why did this post turn into a discussion about my musical tastes. I installed windows vista the other day. It is all right, everything is shiny and happy. I only scored a 4.2, this makes me want to go and buy new computer stuff. Maybe that is why they introduced the score system in the first place. Spam mail pisses me off. I wonder how many people actually use the "stock tips" that I get every day. Next time I have thousands of dollars to invest I sure am going to go buy whatever stock an email told me to. Maybe I should go to sleep, I am getting tired. I think I used way too many periods in this post. Maybe I should have not separated out my thoughts and just used commas to break things up into happy little phrases. I wonder why I can't sleep unless it is quiet, light doesn't bug me much, but sound sure does. Enough for one day.

And in this moment I am happy, happy

2006-12-26T01:39:00.000-05:00

One word can sum up the past few monthes: crazy. I've been very busy with school, job hunt, work, michelle, and rdc. I've just been busy, and I haven't have time to slow down and let it all catch up. I really don't have time to keep this up much less post in it with any regularity.

I am very glad though to be the 2006 Fantasy Football Champ.

Don't expect any more posts. If you want to know what is going on in my life just ask. Ask me over aim (adamtherabbi), email(reynolad(at)rose-hulman.edu), or phone (not gonna put on the internets).

The King and dIe

2006-11-01T01:08:00.000-05:00


(2006) A short film by students at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. A disgruntled Burger King employee seeks revenge against annoying customers by summoning a certain crowned one... NOTE: This film has no association with the Burger King Corporation or Burger King Brands in any way.

The coolest thing I've read in a very long time: http://wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/sixwords.html

Just some things to keep you entertained.

or the land between here and the mountains

2006-10-04T20:13:00.000-04:00

I've got a post coming, hopefully it will be a good one, maybe if I let it simmer for a few more days. You know, ferment a little...

It's the faces in the sand

2006-09-24T17:35:00.000-04:00

It has been a while since I've written. I frankly don't have much to say. Life has been as it usually goes. Don't expect much to be up here soon. I'm going to have to delete this blog.

Out the Window and Down the Fire Escape

2006-08-25T16:56:00.000-04:00

I moved back to the Terre Haute yesterday. It feels really good to be back. To get my desk set-up, to watch good tv with the DVR, and not to mention being able to see Michelle every day. Indy wasn't too bad this summer but it was more like I was sick of the city and sick of living with my parents. If you knew about the situation you can understand why I wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

Michelle and I have been together for six monthes now and I couldn't be happier. We are celebrating tonight by going out to Cheeseburger in Paradise and seeing Beerfest. I'm excited.

Lots of drama club stuff going down, watch for emails from the gage.

I'm not very excited about classes though, just excited about everything but classes. Funny how it works out that way. Classes will be nice, and it will be esspecially nice if I end up dropping one of them. 12 hrs as a senior will kick ass.

There is another bad update to appease the masses, hopefully I'll have something more later.

How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery, to love and to be loved

2006-08-03T18:30:00.000-04:00

The continuing adventures of Bluetooth as he struggles to find his place in the real world.

So the other day at work the boss askes us to come in early (about 7am) and help clean up some trash and various debris that is in one of the robot practice fields. They of course pick the hottest day of the year to do this. After I was already badly sunburned. Such is life. I get there right about 7am and three of the five of us are already out working. When I park Bluetooth is still getting ready. So I go and get my boots on and put on some sunscreen, I look over to see what Bluetooth is doing because it looks like he has been tying his shoes but it was going on for about 10 minutes. As it turns out he is taping the bottoms of his pants. I don't say anything at first because well I didn't really know what to say. Not only did Bluetooth tape the bottom of his pants, he was wearing a long-sleeve, button-up shirt. The heat index for that day was roughly 110 with about 88% humidity. Why in God's name would you wear a long-sleeve shirt when it is going to feel like 110 and be wet and muggy?

So we all start working and fill up a dumpster with all the random crap that is in the field, now all that is left to do is to fill in a hole from a cattle guard. Somehow I get stuck with Bluetooth trying to dig up dirt from around the hole in order to fill it in. I'm looking at this area and frankly it is pretty flat right up to the hole. There really isn't any place to take dirt from. While I'm assesing the situation Bluetooth decides that it would be a good idea for him to start telling me what exactly we are doing here. Since I am a computer engineer and obviously computer engineers have no common sence when it comes to holes and the proper way to fill them in. In order for me not to insult him I decided it would be a good idea to ask him about the tape on his pants. His responce: "I don't want any bugs to get up my pant legs." At this point I'm floored. As many of you know I wasin Boy Scouts for over 10 year. This is by far the dumbest way to try and keep bugs out from underneath your pants, there is virually no way it will work. He didn't have the tape attached to his leg, it was literlly wrapped around the bottom of the pant leg. A bug could easily craw up his leg and still bite him. I decided I'd be a nice person and tell him this, and also inform him of the proper way to keep bugs out of your pants is to tuck your pant legs into your socks. The look on his face when I told him this was priceless. It looked like he had never heard of this idea. Brillant. After a little more bit of shoveling, he looked a little pale so I told him to go get a drink of water, and sit down for a little bit. It is at this point I decide to tell him that long-sleeves in the Indiana heat is not a good idea. He seems flabergasted since where he is from, California, you are supposed to wear long sleeves when it is hot. That might be the case if it is dry heat, but when you are walking in a sponge, it isn't the best of ideas.

The guys in charge decided that we are going to get dirt to fill this hole in from a mound on the other side of the field. So we are loading up the back of a truck full of dirt and dumping it in the hole. On the first load, myself, the other ECE intern, and the staff ME are working on filling up the truck. I've got a square-bladed shovel and I'm scooping up dirt that I broke up with the pick-axe. Bluetooth ambles over to us and grabs the spare shovel and starts trying to help. I use the word trying here because he only got about one shovel full of dirt into the truck for every three that I (and the others) got into the truck. This was the case because he would shovel and than have to take a break. This continued until he started talking.

Right about the time he started talking he claimed that I was using my shovel in correctly. I'm not exactly sure how you can use a shovel incorrectly. I was scooping dirt and putting it into the truck, seems like the proper way to use a shovel to me. After we finished the first load, Bluetooth road over with the dirt in order to help unload it. Meanwhile me and the other ECE intern start breaking up the dirt so that it is easier to load into a truck next time. We get to talkin and I mkae the joke that I think Bluetooth must have worked for the DOT. When Bluetooth and the truck get back, and the rest of us get to shoveling dirt he just kind of stands there and doesn't do much, well except run his mouth. He goes on and on about who knows what, when finally I can't take it anymore and I ask him if he did work for the DOT. At first he didn't get it, but the other two guys who were shoveling did.The entire time we were shoveling when we got to about what was roughly half a load he would insist that, that was enough and we should go drop it off. We all just kind of looked at him like he was an idiot and kept shoveling. This went on for about 4 loads of dirt before the guy driving the truck told him to go guard the hole so that way we could get the last load quickly and easily.

It seems like whenever he starts decides to chime into a conversation around the office everyone else just keeps talking and ignoring him. It is pretty funny. I just don't think he gets it yet.

I hope for better in November

2006-07-24T22:16:00.000-04:00

Here are the answers to Bob's questions

1. What is the most amazing thing ever invented by man? In the last fifty years? Twenty? Ten? This year? WHy were these inventions so amazing?

I choose all of these inventions becasue they all represent a doorway that lead to great advances in technology.

50 Years: The transistor, it is a little bit out of the 50 year range, but it is so important that it needs to be here. Nearly every technological advance after the transistor was invented involved the transistor. Without it electronics wouldn't have been able to vastly decrease in size and power consumption. There would be no computers and virtually no electronics. When two classes at rose are devoted to studying this device you know it must be important.

20 years: Flash Memory, again it is slighly outside of 20 years, but it didn't get heavily used until recently. This is the memory inside most MP3 players, Digital Cameras, and other small electronics. Flash memory allows data to be saved cheaply and without moving parts.

10 years: Broadband Internet, this really isn't an invention but it became cheaper in the late 1990's and into the 2000's and has started changing the way people access the Internet. Back around 1994 if you went into a coffee shop chances are there was no way they were going to have Internet access for you to use. Today there is broadband Internet access everywhere. In December 2005, 16.8% of Americans had high speed Internet access. It is also changing the Internet, there is no way that YouTube or Google Video would have taken off like they did before people had high speed Internet.

Last Year: Roomba, again not really invented last year but it is close enough to count in my book. The Roomba popularized Home-Assistance robots. Working for a robotics company, I see the impact on the industry. The Roomba really helps people around the house as well as spawns other ideas about what robots can do for us at home.

2. A movie is made about the past year at TSAV. What is it called? Is it from a certain character's perspective or from the outside? How might the title change with diferent perspectives?

The title of the movie: "As the Bottle Empties" It kind of encapsulates the soap opera feel that last year had as well as referrences how much drinking we did. I wouldn't want it to be from just one person's perspective, since we are four very different people. I would like to see it similar to the Scrubs episode where the narration keeps changing characters throughout the episode, except much more serious. I think it would be cool to do the movie in a Film Noir style.

3. List the top five beards of all time.
These are in no order and I don't think they need any explination as to why they rock.

Chauncy Rose

Dr. Z

Hulk Hogan

ZZ Top

Alois Plettl

4. There has been much talk about the battle in the Middle East with Israel and Hezbollah possibly becoming World War III and parallels drawn between the start of World War I and what is happening now. What are your thoughts on the issue? What is the likeliness this will break out into a World War? How will this end? How will it end for the US? Will we get involved?

I think it is a big deal, but at the same time the media is blowing it way out of proportion. I haven't been following it that closely. Hopefully no other countries will get involved. I don't think it will break out into world war. Most leaders of Western nations have a lot of restraint and would act as a peacekeeping force rather than try to go and blow up either side. Hopefully it will end with Hezbollah returning the captured Israel soliders and the US not getting involved.

5. What is the ideal job you could be offered, ignoring pay and location?
I would really like to develop robots. After this internship I think they are really cool. I wouldn't want to be stuck doing software, I'd rather be doing the electronics and the hardware of what makes a robot tick. Boston Dynamics would be sweet cause they make some very cool machines.

I've got some complaints, but frankly I'm too tired to care right now. I guess I'm letting stupid bitches be stupid bitches.

So loud behind the bullhorn so proud they can't admit when they have made a mistake

2006-07-12T18:47:00.000-04:00

So I've got some new Bluetooth stories for today. Today my office took a field trip and the other cool co-worker and myself ended up in Bluetooth's car. To say the least it was a very funny experience. I found myself laughing most of the time from how stupid some of this stuff was.

He was driving rather slow the entire way until we got to our destination when my co-worker told Bluetooth that he was "driving like a Nancy." Now Bluetooth doesn't like being called a Nancy. His responce: "I was doing the speed of traffic." He also gunned it in a parking lot and began swearing at the co-worker. Needless to say this was really funny. Seeing as how Bluetooth responds to being critized it was great.

After the field trip was over on the way back he gunned it the entire way to prove to my co-worker that is he isn't a Nancy. Also the entire way back he kept bitching about Indiana and how much it sucks. Apparently in his home state they don't have potholes or stop signs. Who knew?

Also during this entire time he was playing this crazy music. It wasn't a normal radio station. It was a cd of classical music from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. So it made this entire drive feel like and adventure. It was great. While the co-worker and Bluetooth were agruing I was chillin thinking about how rediculous this music was. To put it in referrence, I rode with Bluetooth to go move my car when I first started working at the company. This was the same CD he had playing than. Oh the hilarity.

It seems I had to fight my whole life through

2006-07-09T01:54:00.000-04:00

Another day and another 244.6 miles. I can't ever seem to keep gas in my car. As soon as I turn around it is gone. This might be a slight problem.

So this was hands down probably one of the most stressful weekends of my life. A lot has happened. Lets just leave it at that.

I've got a lot of things I want to say, but none of them should go on here.

My faith in humanity was restored.

I'm very glad I'm 21, cause if I wasn't I would probably be very upset right now.

Learning what I found out just does nothing but build more resentment. The situation will only get worse unless someone does something about it.

Didn't I Ask for Coffee

2006-06-28T00:19:00.000-04:00

So I've got a co-worker, we will call him Bluetooth. Bluetooth is a talker, and what I mean when I say that is that he constantly talks. The entire day. Doesn't matter what it is he will say it. It is pretty rediculous. Some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is classic. I'm going to start writing it all down, and putting quotes up here. Since I don't have any quotes I'll just have to give you a brief summary of the day's events.

One of my co-workers had his last day today. Basiclly I spent the past two days trying to learn everything he knew about our set-up so that we wouldn't loose that knowledge when he left. Which means we spent all day in the shop. Bluetooth was in the shop all day as well. He was working on his stuff all day, which has very little to do with our stuff. However that didn't stop him from coming over and commenting on it and asking us about it. If this happened maybe once or twice, that wouldn't be a big deal. But when something happens over ten times a day it tends to get to you.

Bed time, more tomorrow after class

So we were all working on our respective tasks in the shop like we usually do at work, when I ask my other co-worker what club he is the president of at his college. He says it is right to life club. I may hold a different view point, but since I respect him I see nothing wrong with him having this beleif and being the president of a club about it. However, Bluetooth decided to chime in that he is a very staunch pro-choice person. He tried to engage us in a debate about abortion, and frankly I'm not really willing to go there in the work place. I have to work with these people everyday I don't want to piss any of them off.

Reasoning like that doesn't stop Bluetooth though. He decided that is would be a good idea to explain that since he is an agnostic and liberal that everyone who thinks abortion is wrong is a stupid religious conservative. He followed this up with some weird explaination about his thoughts about a vast right wing conspiricy, but by that point I had enough and kind of stopped paying attention. Me and my other co-worker kind of looked at each other and had the same of thought of: "Can you beleive this guy?!" At this point in the conversation I decided to end it by offering up some lame-ass phrase about how this probably wasn't a very good conversation to be having at work. That shut him up for a while, but not 5 minutes later he chimed in "So what do you guys think about the war in Iraq?" I couldn't beleive it. It was like something out of a bad sitcom.

I'm sorry to report that there was not good quotes today, but I'll write them down if there are any good ones.

But I got the world in the palm of my hand

2006-06-22T22:30:00.000-04:00

I haven't been not updating for lack of time. It has been becasue after working all day the last thing I feel like doing is staring at a computer screen. But I did promise someone special that I would update, so I guess I better. Esspecially after girlfriend hell.

Life has been pretty repitive. Go to work, read, sleep, repeat. It has been very relaxing. I have a good time on the weekends hanging out with the kick-ass girlfriend.

Summer Goals List 6/22/2006
Pass Summer School Class
Visit Ryan in VA
Make It Up to the Lake
Visit Nate in Funcie
Read the Dark Tower Series

I'll think of some more later I'm sure. Right now I can't really breathe. Stupid weather mkaing my nose run like crazy. Or maybe Michelle got me sick, either way.

Sami, sorry I haven't written back yet, work has been busy. We have really kicked it up into high gear.

Expect infrequent updates. I don't spend much time on my computer outside of work.

I didn't want to go to no disco (no no)

2006-06-07T17:37:00.000-04:00

8:15am Thank god I didn't get caught in a thunder storm on the way in.
8:29am Why didn't I get to work with the cool co-workers?
9:37am Rain has kind of put a real "down" mood in the office
10:22am I get paid sooner than I thought!
10:27am I really like the word shenanigans
12:05pm I decided that I don't like the "Golden Ghetto."
12:37pm Working lunches rock
1:04pm Google Spreadsheet is really cool
2:47pm work work work
3:15pm Exciting stuff to do
3:52pm Almost time to go

It has been decided that 4:30 is the witching hour.

Burning a door in the back of my mind

2006-06-06T23:02:00.000-04:00

Random Thoughts Throughout My Day:

You know it was a bad day when you have weird dreams that include, flying buses, strange creatures, Aydrian with an eye patch, and ghosts. Crazy stuff.

Meet the big boss for the first time. He seems like a pretty cool guy.

Getting pretty tired, I'm pretty sure I completed the tasks the boss asked me to do.

It is kind of lonely being the only computer engineer here.

I've concluded that some MEs have very little intuition.

End Random Thoughts

Work has been getting better. Which I'm thankful for. Hopefully I'll get to do some cool stuff soon.

Shout Outs
Michelle: You are amazing and you rock
Sami: Thanks for the email, it really gave me something to do
Wg Grinders: Amazing sandwich, wish I could eat there everyday
Keycard: Please start working
Grill: Why did you disappear and let a dirty hautian steal you

Lame post, but this will have to suffice you for the time being.

Find glory, beyond the cheap colored lights

2006-06-02T16:16:00.000-04:00

So, it was requested that I update. Well here it goes.

All moved into the new house. It is really nice. Only problem I see, well smell is the new house smell. It will be gone eventully. It just feels good to be in the new house.

This has been a very diferent week. I've been just chillin at the house all week, except for the two days that I was moving all day. I had to pack all of my stuff to move over here and than pack the stuff I'm taking home. I never realized I had so much crap.

I've been watching Penn and Teller's Bullshit all day. It is great. Really funny. I recommend you watch it.

Not much to report about I'll be working in indy this summer. I'm not going to disclose the name of the firm on this website. I'm excited about it.

It will be a long summer.

I can't wait for the fall to be here.

Is anything but questionable

2006-05-19T13:30:00.000-04:00

End of the year

One class, three finals, and one poster presentation is all I have left

I'm not terribly excited about living at home. It will be nice, but at the same time it will feel like after senior year again. I have this feeling that I'll be spending most weekends in the haute. Not like this is a problem or anything. Probably lots of chilling with the old gang.

Oh great calamity,
Ditch of iniquity and tears
How I abhor this place
Its sweet and bitter taste
Has left me wretched, retching on all fours
Los Angeles, I'm yours

I've been in a Decemberists mood lately.

And here I dreamt I was a soldier
And I marched the streets of birkenau
And I recall in spring
The perfume that the air would bring
To the indolent town
Where the barkers call the moon down
The carnival was ringing loudly now
And just to lay with you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Save lay my rifle down

Really contrasts with the punk rock music that has been in my car all week.

It turns out I've decided not to post what I was considering in my last post. I just wanted to make a point, and I think I made it.

Moses!

2006-05-17T15:50:00.000-04:00

Should I post what I want to and piss people off? I think I should, cause it would be funny especially with what they have written their blog about being selfish. Maybe I will later today. We'll see

Color of her eyes was the color of insanity

2006-05-08T10:25:00.000-04:00

Quick life update for those who I don't see all the time:
I'll be in Indy this summer, Michelle is very pleased by this
Two weeks of classes left
One weekend of AFGM left
...david bander shirts
WRFT softball game next week
AJ's graduaton week after that
New house next year
Still happy with the woman
Road trip to virginia this summer?
Summer classes at IUPUI?

I know I never tell her
But every single day man
I’m always thinking loads about her
She’s the best thing that ever happened to me
And I don’t know what I’d do without her

And I say your uncle was a crooked french canadian

2006-04-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

It has been ten days I figured it is time to write another shitty blog post.

I've been watching British tv for for like the past five hours. It is weird. Different celebrities, weird products that I have no idea what they are. Just odd.

I really have nothing to say.

I just want a job and I want the summer to be here.

You're two floors down getting high in the back room

2006-04-11T17:26:00.000-04:00

It has been a nice break. Mostly involoving me doing absolutly nothing for long persiods of time which I greatly enjoy. Lots of good stuf to look forward to as well. Camping later this week as well as Kelly's 21st in Indy. It will be a good end to a good break. Much better than some other breaks. I'm really glad I didn't go home. I wouldn't do a damn thing over there and I've actully go things accomplished over here. For instance the house underwent a major clean-up on sunday. It looks amazing. That would not have happened if I was in Indy.

I'm probably going to drink tonight. Not sure how much or what. If you are in the terre haute area and want to drink with me stop by the hosue or give me a call.

Another worthless post, oh well, back to my book.

Watch these movies

2006-04-07T10:01:00.000-04:00

Loose Change, 2nd Edition

Steven E Jones, Physics Professor, on WTC Collapse

To cover the scars on his face

2006-04-05T20:49:00.000-04:00

I like it!

Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai

2006-04-03T15:42:00.000-04:00

I think hautian drivers are out to get me. I must have a big sign on my car that says "I have insurance, hit me!11!!" That has got to be the reason why I almost either rearend someone or get rearended everyday. There should be an extra tax on stupid drivers.

Maybe I'm just sick, but I really like Chopping Block.

It is weird to think about but just one year ago I was in charge of an organization with about 3,000 current members, and over 10,000 total members. And I expanded the number of scouts that the program reaches by about 10% without watering down the message and skills we were teaching. Damn, I'm awesome.

I really think it is funny when my leadership skills get called into question, since no one I know has done anything else like that, much less been as successful as I was at it.

Kiss me once in the snow, I swear it never gets old

2006-03-28T09:34:00.000-05:00

A change of layout sounded like a good idea to me. I was sick of my old one.

Like a plane crash that never hits the ground

So many events in life are like a trainwreck. You want to stop watching, but you can't.

You're on your own my little nightmare you cannot stay here
It's far too bright for you

I was cast in A Few Good Men. I will be playing Whitaker. It will be a good show.

There are a lot of things going on. I think I've got almost every weekend filled from now until finals filled.

24 Hr
Break
Camping / Indy
Campout / Mag-delicious
Free
AFGM / Cinco de Mayo (Elliot's 21st)
AFGM
One Acts

I'm sure glad I like being busy.

Maybe I'll post more later if the mood strikes me.

I feel like being a sheep today.

- List 10 things you want to say to people but you know you never will.
- Don't say who they are.

1. I wasted a lot of time on you.
2. You were the best mistake I ever made.
3. I would feel sorry for you if you didn't bring everything upon yourself.
4. You need to pull your head out of your ass.
5. I don't care, seriously I don't.
6. I meant everything I said on your voicemail.
7. I'm very glad you two broke up, for your sake.
8. You are my biggest disappointment.
9. I have little to no respect for you.
10. Stop whining and do something about it.

[ Insert Disclaimer Here ]

Wow those make me sound like a terrible person.

Whose Boobs Are These?! Second Edition! is a very tough game. You should go play.

Feeling so good (good!) cruisin’ the hood (hood!)

2006-03-22T01:59:00.000-05:00

I;m drunk. It was a mario party night and I'm shitfaced. I tried caling michelle but she didn't answer her phone :(

Blogging just doens't hold my interest anynmore. That doens't mean I'm gonna stop writing.

New streetlight manifest album. Sweet. I love ska music. All you music snobs can go fuck yourslef. Just becaue you don't have enough music sence to apprecaite a horn section in a rock band doens't mean that this genre of music sucks. Go and listen to your pussy emo shit, and I'll listen to musicians that have real talent.

Auditions went well. Day two is tomorrow, it will be interesting.

Vainty, how you rule the lives of nearly all rose students. Thank god I'm dating a great girl who goes to ISU.

The guy's only doin it for some doll

2006-03-18T02:18:00.000-05:00

So I just got off the phone with Michelle. I miss her. It has only been a couple days, but still. This has been a stressful week and I would like nothing more than to sit with her and let the world melt away. I'm jsut sick of being burnt out. She is having a blast in new york, and frnakly I'm jealous. I wish I could go somewhere cool over my break. There is a possibility of a trip to MN, but we shall see.

I just came back from a great cast party at Laxer's house. Laxer has the best cast parties. I aspire to have cast parties like his. Eveyone has a good time, and it is amazing. I wish more alums could have been there, but what can you do? I guess I'll just have to try harder next time.

Well time to clean for the party. Make sure and bring your own drinks too. None of this freeloading shit.

All we need is love and beer

2006-03-15T10:23:00.000-05:00

I haven't updated in quite some time. I really haven't had the time to spend writing a real update. I've been very busy. With tech week and a new quarter coming up. I've haven't had a free moment.

Michelle left for New York today. It will be a rough few days. She will be back on sat though.

I got to thinking about it and if I get cast in A Few Good Men, I'll have 11 shows in this quarter. That is crazy.

I really have nothing to say. Life has been really good. Guys and Dolls is showing this weekend and next. You should go see it, it will be great.

Birds are leaving over autumn's ending

2006-03-05T20:28:00.000-05:00

Great break. Nothing else needs to be said. I worked and spent time a lot of time with Michelle.

The drive home last night was excellent. Clear sky, no other drivers, smooth road, driving bass line, car was running great. It was excellent. Too bad I was only driving five miles down the highway.

Watching Scotland, PA. It is a really good movie. You should see it.

Today hasn't been a great day. Not feeling too well. As much as I like these new glasses I'm still not used to them yet.

Well movie night.

Oh - I ... have you got nothing to say

2006-03-01T12:54:00.000-05:00

So last night me and bob decide it is a good idea to go on a pub crawl in honor of Fat Tuesday. We left the house about 9pm. And from there we went across the street to the first bar.

4th Quarter
A very shady looking place, but they are across the street from my house, so it made it the idea starting point for this adventure. They had $3 pitchers, and pool. So we polished off a pitcher and played a couple of games of pool before continueing on.

Bohannon's East
The next bar we hit was just down the bash. When we got in they were all playing some crazy dice game, and it was very obvious that we were not regulars in this bar. Nothing on tap, so we had to get bottles. It was a decent sports bar. We talked to the owner for a while and he is a pretty cool guy, hates the Haute just as much as the rest of us.

Sonka's
We took a short break since it was a long walk down the Sonka's, but once we got there it was pretty hoppin. The bar was full and they had a band playing. So in addition to this being our typical bar, they had a lot going on. We picked up some large beers, followed by a pint. Hung out for quite a while. Apparently Jarboe works there.

After Sonka's we decided to take a break and find something to smoke. At this point I really had to pee, so we went to a Walgreens and they wouldn't let me use the bathroom because "They don't let people use the bathroom at night." WTF?!? So we walked to a 500 express and bought some smokes. Than we kept walking since at this point it was a large gap between groups of bars.

~~Random Bar By Stoogie Shop~~ The Terminal
We made it to this bar and it had a bunch of young people in it. Looked like a lot of ISU students. It was a pretty decent atmosphere and I think we are gonna go back on a weekend. Apparently the bar owner's husband had a birthday and so we got our second round free.

At this point we decided to try and find the ISU bar The Bally. We walked around for about an hour looking for this bar and we wern't even close to it. It was an advcenture full of drunk dials and being in the ghetto.

The Bally
We never actully made it here.

At this point we got hungry and called up Nick to see if he would drive us to IHOP. He didn't want to so we decided to walk over to McDonalds, but as soon as we approached McDonalds we saw there was a Dennys and that looked much more apptizing.

Denny's
When we got in we were the only people in the non-smoking section. While bob was in the bathroom I explained our evening to the waitress, who explained to us where The Bally actully is. Once we got some food these really drunk guys who went to Fat Cats came in and decided to disrupt the solitude of the non-smoking section.

After Denny's we walked from Third Street all the way back to the house. It was quite a journey.

We learned a couple of things from this first first pub crawl. Next time we should start far away and work our way to the house, instead of walking away from the house. It would also make the 4th Quarter and Bohannon's East must more interesting.

This postcard from hell should remind you of how lucky you are

2006-02-28T13:55:00.000-05:00

This may or may not be directed. Just a disclaimer for those people who may or may not get bent out of shape.

Sorry to disappoint you beth, I didn't catch my car on fire again.

Work is over for the week. So I get to chill and have a good time the rest of this week. Art Shows, Plays, Drinking, and More Drinking.

Apparently I am a gossipy little school girl.

I have no idea what British people are saying.

Hell, I have no idea what some American people are saying.

Funny how the title of this doesn't reflect my mood at all. I'm in a great mood. Been in a great mood all week. Probably due to little lady from ISU.

Life is what happens while we're making plan

2006-02-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Day one of work wasn't bad. Had to put up with annoying froshies. It happens. I'll probably only see them at meals and such after today, so it isn't a big deal. Speaking of meals, the ARA does a damn good job with the catered meals. I was impressed, and am now looking forwards to the rest of the meals for this job.

It has been a good weekend. A Short Summary: Coffee, Movies, Tours, Fires, Crosses, Drunks, Movies, and Work.

This moustache is really rediculous looking. I look like I'm from the 70's.

Not much is better than listening to the Blast soundtrack. I really need to get the whole thing.

But I can hear another drum beating for the dead that rise

2006-02-23T15:18:00.000-05:00

Break is finally here. Finals week was not too bad. 300 was the worst of the bunch. It was also my worst class. Than again no one likes that class.

This post has been taking me about three days to write.

Ever tried to distract yourself and failed at it very badly. I am not very good at distracting myself in the slightest.

I got my schedule for the next couple days of working for the synposium. I'm assigned to a presentation room. So basiclly I do a lot of work for about twenty minutes and than I've got roughly a half hour of downtime. I'm bringing the laptop, and probably some books.

God I love Family Guy.

Thus far it has been a good break, and it looks like it will be getting better.

Be real cool, dang real cool

2006-02-19T22:14:00.000-05:00

~~Today~~ Yesterday ~~has~~ was ~~been~~ a Dispatch day.

Today has been a Barenaked Ladies day.

Personal responsibility, what has become of it? The 1940s were such a success because everyone took it upon themselves to do their share. But besides that? Times like today? Give me a break.

"I'm the enchanting wizard of rhythm."

It is really funny how a class that one would assume to be pretty essential to my major is a giant joke. It is just a huge joke and doesn't matter in the slightest. I don't think there is a single person who couldn't have passed that test today.

I think I just melted my brain, in a good way.

This 300 final will probably kill me.

I got good news today, however I don't think they enjoyed what I had to say.

Reading my old entries, I have changed a lot since July. Many of my priorities have become completly different. If I didn't know better I'd swear something happened last summer.

If I had someone else’s voice

2006-02-18T21:16:00.000-05:00

I'm Jim.

I've been watching the office all day and this is the conclusion I've come up with or maybe that is the point of the show.

Probably the later.

Beer Pong tourney went well. Finally finished a keg. Only took us going through five of them before we could kill one.

I've slacked all day, it has been good.

Friday turned into a good day. Did well on my three tests, had a good evening, and I can't really talk about the last one.

I always want to write something in here but when I sit down to type I can't ever figure out what to say. If you want to know how I am just ask.

Lets ride

2006-02-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not sure if I've decided on things or if I am avoiding it all. But either way I know what I have to / am doing.

It would be nice if things work out the way I would like them to.

This next quarter will be interesting.

"Barf, Barf like a freshman!"

And we both know that's a fucking lie

2006-02-12T17:47:00.000-05:00

Grow up.

There is more, someday, someday.

There's lightning on the ceiling

2006-02-09T00:05:00.000-05:00

Hump day, never a good day. Up until today the week flies. But once today happens it seems to slow down to a crawl until fri.

Quick PSA: [editted for content]

I can't wait to smoke cigars. Have a couple beers. It will be a good night.

The BIG Countdown:
3 - Finals
2 - Test
4 - HW assignments
1 - Competition
1 - Presentation

I'm a slack ass, just for your info.

The 2nd Quarterly Ye Olde Drunken TSAV Beer Pong Tourney will be Feb 17th. Talk to Bob to register. Triples and Doubles Only! If you need matched up, we can assist in finding partners. If you have any questions about the house rules feel free to ask.

'Cause if you die will I get word that you're gone
or will I hear it in passing conversation
or will I stop short and fall to the ground
distance is short when your hand carries what your eye found
hold my hand just one more time
to see if you're really going to meet me
hold my hand just one more time
to see if you're really going to meet me

Wenn unsere Katze eine Kuh wäre, könnten wir sie melken.

Believe in neither but fear them as well

2006-02-06T00:27:00.000-05:00

The parallels that I am drawing are not just amazing, they are a little scary. It seems like distorted deja vu.

I've started this update atleast 4 times. So much to say, and yet no words that can bear the weight of it.

I've been in a Modest Mouse mood. But not like I get when I'm in a Modest Mouse mood normally.

I'm wearin' myself a t-shirt that says "The world is my ashtray"
Our hearts pump dust and our hairs all grey
And I just got a message sayin' that hell has frozen over
Got a phone call from the Lord sayin' "Hey boy get a sweater. Right now!"
Does anybody know a way that a body could get away
Does anybody know a way

Sorry if I seem distracted, it is because well I am distracted.
Fool, you're a tool, a sheep I can be passive agressive too....

It is just winter quarter, spring will be better. But three weeks is a long time.

Indy, sat night, I can't wait

Cigars on fri night, let me know if you are want one, I'm going to the store on thursday.

Maybe I will keep posting, but if I do it will be this kind of weird and meaningless shit.

the man you're looking for does not exist

2006-02-01T01:27:00.000-05:00

Hope is a fleeting thing. I need to stop opening myself up.

Need to keep my nose to the grindstone, so the outside world won't distract me.

Giving up is harder than trying.

I had a good thought to put in here, but I let it escape.

like the rock at the bottom of the river
the metaphor that is my life

You're now tuned into the muh'f*ckin greatest

2006-01-31T02:37:00.000-05:00

Not much puts me in a good mood like a great anthem.

If it has energy and passion I'll listen to it. What that means even I don't know, but when I hear it I know. This has me listening to everything from Streetlight Manifesto to Jay-Z.

Music is a personel choice, don't be a snob about it.

I listen to The White Stripes and I like them. They have a unique take on music.

There is one singer who haunts my dreams, too bad I don't own any of her music. I would share who she is, but I keep her just for me.

He sparkles, shimmers, shines

2006-01-19T00:32:00.000-05:00

I've got a secret, but only one person can keep a secret.

So drinking tonight was probably a big mistake, I'll pay for it tomorrow
and tonight.

I'll come to regret my thoughts, and my actions [or lack there-of], but at the time it was all I could do.

I'm still amazed by the relationships that I form with other people.

I think my hero of the day knows who they are, atleast I hope they do.

She ionizes and atomizes
Then turns to sunlight
He realizes and itemizes
Pulls harder than gravity
She ionizes and atomizes
Then turns to sunlight
Flourescent lightbulbs will make
An absense of dark, but
The light just aint there still and she said
"I'm feeling empty,
The real lights can make you heavy but
Never ever really empty
Flourescent lights will always equal empty."

I know i'm only one in 20,000 men

2006-01-16T01:16:00.000-05:00

Today is one of those days that makes me want to not be an engineer.

It is such a long fall off of a high horse.

Watching The Office I really like it.

Sunday nights are terrible.

I'm really going to miss killer.

And oh my God, they look so alone

2006-01-13T00:25:00.000-05:00

Oh hypocricy how you seen to make my world turn round. Everywhere I look, there you are.

My demons need time to settle.

Irony is everywhere.

Maybe I know what I want now.

Do they really feel anything?
Oh my God, I've gotta gotta gotta gotta move on
Where do you move when what you're moving from
Is yourself?

You've gotta get back to where you started

2006-01-07T02:55:00.000-05:00

I've came to a decision. I'm done writing in this. It was nice while it lasted, but the time for me to stop this waste of my time is over. It doesn't do me any good, so there is no reason I should waste my time writing in it. This doesn't mean I won't be writing, but it just won't be fit for everyone to read. If something very important happens it will probably be logged in here, but don't expect anyting out of me.

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the place between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there are a thousand more
that you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally.

I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper: "Here is where you rest."
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours.
In a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge,
sun-bruised field and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote,
You make me happy when the skies are gray
You make me happy the skies are gray and gray and gray.

Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands
stretched towards the calendar hanging itself but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.

Travelling swallowing Dramamine

2006-01-05T02:11:00.000-05:00

I would write a post but I'm really tired.

So yeah this is my too tired to think of a real blogpost post.

4 hours on the 351 prelab. Sucks.

~~I want to snuggle with Mahoney~~ No offense to Mahoney but no

Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that i'll probably reget soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself

Girls suck. Metallica for life. Your mother is a saint. I ain't finished. I am a big liar. Still not done. I ain't going anywhere.

Todays Blog Post Was Brought To You By: Bright Eyes, Prelabs, and Killer Deepthroating a Popsicle for My Amusement

I've been dishonest now it's time to come clean

2006-01-02T23:30:00.000-05:00

Well since everyone else is disecting their past year, I might as well too.

Fool, you're a tool, a sheep

Since I can't remember each indivdual month (I blame the drinking), I guess I'll just digress about it all.

It had ups and downs. Mostly downs, but that is to be expected. The highlights were few and far between but they were great times. I haven't really been content since the middle of March or so. I've been very melancholy ever since.

I've got another confession to make
but now isn't the time....

I've stopped listening to so much good music. I come home and find all of my old music is in my brother's playlist. It is great.

We watched a lot of Scrubs tonight, it is really funny how I can relate to the main character. I forgot how much I like that show.

Looking at this week I doubt I will be getting much sleep. Lots of things going on and due I have none of them done. Hell I have none of them started. And I've got to do two write-ups this week.

Reset, can't reset the years
So sad, princess isn't here
She's hiding out with all my fears

Damn, why do I put myself through this?

If anyone has any albums by The Hippos pleae let me know.

An apple pie, the number pi, i studied you in math class
I did all my work but never got your digits

Todays Blog Post Was Brought To You By: Ozma, My Depressing Mood, and Kelsey

Put me in a cab to suburbia

2005-12-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

I'm back from michigan. It was nice to be away from the everyday crap. It was some very nice scenery. Skiing is really really hard. I was beat up the next day from only one day of it.

Basiclly all I did was relax and read. I started an finished Battlefield Earth. A long book that tells a good story. It was nice to not have to start another book over the whole vacation.

O green world,
Don't desert me now
Bring me back to fallen town
Where someone is still alive

I really hate this town, no one is ever around to do anything, and when people are around there isn't anything to do.

Care bear bumping in the heart of this here
watch me as I gravitate

I had a nice big post planned in my head while I was away, but I can't remember what I wanted to say. It must have not been important.

Maybe I should scale down my social life, and take Mitchell's advice. My grades would get better, and I would get more sleep.

I did a lot of thinking. Not that it got me anywhere. I'll make all of my future decisions like I usually do, by the seat of my pants. I have good instincts.

I'd put money down that you'd surely flunk.
The only thing that you ever really took from me
Were my records to sell them for dope.
Now all I have left is this heart in my chest
And my happiness helping me cope

I hate not being able to find the lyrics that I want, those will do, but it isn't exactly what I wanted to put there.

I think I got to get away from you

2005-12-26T02:23:00.000-05:00

I am a chump. If you say it I'll believe it. Hell you don't even have to say it to make me believe it.

I know a guy who lives just for the weekends.
He says he's tired a lot.
He says there should be five days of weekend
instead of five days of work.

Two years ago I was in the exact opposite situation. Not when it comes to any one thing, but everything. Everything was completly different two years ago.

Last year I was about where I am now, but much less tired. I wasn't worn down from the amount of work placed on me. I was ready to face it, and take it on. Now I just want it to be over. The sonner the better. 7 short weeks....

But you look confused and you dont know what to do
It's hard to get an answer when you havent got a clue
If you work it out tell me what you find

I thought I had removed that thorn, but it had just changed shape.

Hypocricy makes me ~~laugh~~ chuckle.

It has been a Piebald mood the past few days.

[Insert your own Nihilistic comment here!]

Nasty habits rule this place.
And of course the walk of shame.
It's something that you may or may not understand.
All out at once clean and compact.
Flipping through the stations.
I heard some rapper once say there's a message in everything.

I'm addicted. I just can't stop. No matter how hard I try.
If only you knew what I am addicted to

This game is overrated

2005-12-24T04:30:00.000-05:00

Ozma rocks my world

Everybody wants to dance in a playpen

so does "In the Hall of the Mountain King"

Why think of all the bad things when life is so good?

New format idea stolen from Jeff Kennedy, not sure how I like it though

Yeah, windows down

I've been looking at my life the past couple days. It is very strange to be back in my old room and see all the stuff that rteminds me of what life was like before rhit. It was very different to say the least. I miss a couple people like crazy, too bad I've got no idea how to get a hold of them.

All you need is drums to start a dance party

If only I could live how that line tells me to

Like a plane crash that never hits the ground

I neglet some great music I own

Funny: If It Weren't For Venetian Blinds It Would Be Curtains For Us All

come tomorrow i'll be on my way back home

2005-12-22T00:28:00.000-05:00

Not much has been going on. Been trying to not think about anything, and just exist here today.

What is with all of the people getting engaged?

I've got nothing to blog about. I've been trying to think of things to write about but I've got nothing.

Tomorrow/Today I'm going back to indy. Should be a good time. I get to see people and relax.

Chuck Norris!

I've gotten two fortune cookies in a row that haven't had fortunes in them. I think I'm gonna die or something. It is a little weird.

Racoons are funny

If only I knew how to talk to you. I don't know where to begin. Everytime I try I suck at it.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: The Transplants - Diamonds and Guns
Hero: Bill Nye
Villain: Cold
Quote: "BIBLE FIGHT!!!" -- Family Guy
Mood: relaxed

I didn't know if I would live or die

2005-12-19T20:50:00.000-05:00

It hurts to breathe, laugh or cough. I have been hungover since I woke up puking on Sunday. I've never felt this bad after a night of drinking. It is terrible. I'm rady to just give up on everything and sleep for the next 80 days. The test tomorrow is gonna blow.

Drinking is very bad. Apparently I fought a trashcan and lost. And I did many other things that I don't remember.

Break will be good, I'm headed home thursday. I'm gonna take weds off and just relax here in town. Shoot me a message if you want to hang out over break. I'll be home for a few days.

Must study

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: NIN - Only
Hero: One More Class Day
Villain: My Bruised Ribs
Quote: "I can pretend being christian if they keep sending me candy" -- Killa
Mood: pain

Judging by your eyes, like crystal balls

2005-12-16T20:16:00.000-05:00

I'm headed up to Fort Wayne today. Going for some good quality family time. It will be fun, but I really don't want to drive up there.

There is a cold wind through here, and it is pushing me to somewhere I don't want to be.

I just watched Empire Records yesterday, great movie, I was impressed.

Crappy blog post I know, maybe I'll write a better one, maybe not.

The real test of your convictions are what you do when no one else is watching.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Blink 182 - Anthem (Part II)
Hero: Weekend
Villain: John Dullard
Quote: "The power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection." -- Henry Ward Beecher
Mood: mude

Now I aint sayin she a gold digger

2005-12-14T06:13:00.000-05:00

So I just got up two hours early. I meant to wake up and take a shower at 7 but instead I got up at 5 and took a shower, and didn't realize it was 5 until I went out into the tv room and looked at the clock. Wow I definatly felt like a complete dumbass.

School has been crazy, and not in the good way. I rarely get done with schoolwork before midnight every night. It sucks. A lot.

Family Guy has been makin my life very much better. It cracks me up.

Not much else to look forward to except this weekend which won't be that great. But after this weekend only two days till break. Thank god.

Heartburn sucks ass. So does coughing. And sore throats.

Sarah sayd I should go to the doctor, but I think that is a load of shit. I'm gonna keep chuggin cough syrup and dropping cough drops like they are candy (canada).

Whatever happened to Cleveland's kid? Seriously, he just vanished and he was really really funny.

My CDs are in the trunk of my car and I'm too lazy to get them out. It is really sad I know. I guess it is kind of a description of my life.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Family Guy
Hero: Somedays there are no heroes.....
Villain: things that are early
Quote: "He's like a puppy that just peed on the rug" -- Killer
Mood: stupid

I can't change my ways, I'm a puppet's fool

2005-12-11T03:35:00.000-05:00

Pardon me for being a giant emo pussy

And I see the comfortable place to rest
Time to get this shit off my chest
Wouldn't it be a cruel joke
If it's too late to try? Why?

I feel like a failure. Just a giant loser. That is all I am.

Nothing goes right, ever. I'm sick of this shit.

I often wonder what it would be like if I was in a different situation.

I want out, but that feeling will pass.

I'm beginning to hate the weekends, becasue only than do I have to be around things I don't want to be around. I need somewhere else to go. Somewhere else to be. Where I can just relax, and not have to deal with stupid bullshit.

I am the cold center of a world that is spinning out of control.

I feel trapped and restless.

If I knew how to change I would consider it.

this is the last time I'll abandon you
and this is the last time I'll forget you
I wish I could

End giant emo pussy

Tonight was a good night. it was nice to get away from the usual group and mix it up a bit.

Another weekend i didn't get laid
it's a monday morning ant brigade
Another weekend i didn't get paid
it's a monday morning ant brigade
Fuck it all no regrets
i'm staying in

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Weezer - Thief, You've Taken All That Was Me
Hero: The Old Scharp Guys
Villain: I don't want to talk about it
Quote: It feels good!!! To be somebody's bitch!!" -- Boyer, Marshal, Kevin, Joe, Mike, Stroh, and Me
Mood: yeah

one night doesn't mean the rest of my life

2005-12-09T01:20:00.000-05:00

I stole this computer from the sarah girl who lives on our couch, yes she is the person who said the quote ("Aww, I liked being a giant cum dumpster.").

I'm a slacker, maybe I'll fix that tomorrow, but probably not.

I'm looking for plans tomorrow night, contact me if there is something going on.

I've been in the mood to blog, but as soon as I see this screen the words just don't come out. I think I know what I want to say, but words can't express what I really want to say. Actions speak louder than words, and if I had to guess I know what I would guess.

Everything in lab today went wrong. Nothing would work right. After we aniliated the prelab, we just couldn't keep it together on the actual lab.

I am amazed but I know I shouldn't be.

Only one week and two days till break. I can't wait.

I was hoping by looking at the screen someting profound and great would come from it. No such luck though.

Watching I, Robot I realized how much I like the book. It was wonderful. I haven't read a book that good in a long time.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Kanye West - Golddigger
Hero: Hilarity
Villain: DC Power Supplies
Quote: "...and than I fought a giant bear." -- Adam
Mood: awfully HIlarious

Oh - I...have you got nothing to say

2005-12-07T22:11:00.000-05:00

I've been pretty blah lately. School is how it always is. I've been sick, it sucks.

I have nothing interesting to write. Nothing new is going on and I feel like a boring person right now.

Killer refused to flash us, saddness.

I've been playing a lot of video games, I don't think it is such a bad thing.

No motivation, story of my life.

My hair is finallay getting "long enough"

Babies = cash, brillant!

My signals hw isn't getting done right now, I'm gonna pay for that tomorrow. It isn't that I don't want to do it, but I really don't want to do it.

Giant headache

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: The Sweet Sound of the AutoSniper
Hero: Short 333 Lab
Villain: HW, Labs, etc
Quote: "Yep! Nope! Fuck!" -- Kev-o
Mood: cold, sick, etc

So he would sulk and drink and mope

2005-12-04T08:53:00.000-05:00

Home... a silence between glares
That stutters words misleading
Here... give me all you got
With one shot sent to lend me
No... here across the grass,
Between the glass
I know... you're not the one
I left to wait here, helping
I... I left in a sudden rush
And never said why
You... couldn't know
That I had no goodbyes

What happened to make me fall this far. I don't feel like the same person anymore. I am a terrible sinner. Everything I touch breaks.

This feeling is indescribeable. This has got to be infinite bad karma. Next life I'm a slug.

sing for absolution
I will be singing
falling from your grace

there's nowhere left to hide
in no one to confide
the truth runs deep inside
and will never die

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Coheed and Cambria - Welcome Home
Hero: Hef
Villain: me
Quote: "I want to wake up in a closet." -- Gage
Mood: like a cold jackass

and the only question's when they'll blow up

2005-12-03T03:12:00.000-05:00

It has been an odd couple off days, very odd. Not sure how to describe it.

I'm glad I got to meet the IHOP people. And I can'ty wait to hang out with them tomorrow at the party.

Justin, you rock.

Classes are rougher than I thought, so I doubnt I'll have much time to rock this out.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Cursive - Some Red Handed Sleight of Hand
Hero: New People
Villain: Tomorrow is a day away
Quote: "I noticed" -- Justin
Mood: good

Was when I learned to cry on command

2005-11-30T00:29:00.000-05:00

Much to my dismay killer won't rip her clothes off and jump me because of my ridiculously complicated circuit(it spans 2.5 soderless breadboards!) that I made tonight. I guess I'll just have to whip the circuit out later than.

After two days I've got a quick class status report:
300
After the first day last term I had no idea what was going on, now I understand why we are doing this stuff, and that it isn't really a math class like Dr. T made it out to be.

351
It seems like crazy 250 right now, which is interesting. I thought this would be a rough class going into it, but it has turned out to be interesting thus far.

333
I would say hard, but it hasn't been hard. There was a prelab due the 2nd day of class that took everyone about three hours, and the circuit that makes women want to take their clothes off(pictures will be coming) took me about three hours to build as well. So it has been time-intensive.

112
German, need I say more?

361
No idea I'll have the class tomorrow, so hopefully I can get a good group.

I've had some crazy deja vu the past couple of days, it is jsut weird. I don't understand where it is coming from. It is kind of creeping me out. I've been bumming around with a couple people at school all day, well because they are in all of my classes, it is nice to chill with some new people, but it feels like hs. The same people in all of your classes.

I'm amazed at the lengthes you go to set yourself up for the fall.

Oh the irnoy

Go Read This

I'm glad it is finally getting cold. My beard and long hair have finally come into good use.

I'm a lazy slack-ass, I need to start working on memorizing my part. Maybe I can crank some of that out tomorrow.

I need to figure out a cycle of when to do my hw. I've got three labs, three prelabs, and three hw assignments due every week.

The person I didn't expect to see over break was the one I now want to see the most.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Bob Dylan - From a Buick 6
Hero: Mono!!
Villain: Prelabs
Quote: "I might rupture my spleen!" -- Killer
Quote(2): "I love the cock. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that." -- Killer
Mood: horny

Full of broken thoughts

2005-11-27T02:39:00.000-05:00

Break is over, I don't even count Sunday as a real day. Nothing important will be taking place. Everything I wanted to do outside of the normal things that happened, didn't. I'm not sure if I'm being shown opportunities or if I'm being taunted. I'd bet on the later. Two seperate incidents, completly unrelated. If only I could seize them.

Destructive thoughts fill my nights. Everything reminds me of distant times, and the things that used to be. I need to fill myself with new things to see/do/experience.

I remembered why I hate this town. Nothing is left for me here. I need to leave it all behind. Next break, less time at home.

What do I want? Comment if you have an idea.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Bob Marley - Three Little Birds
Hero: VOD
Villain: Boredom
Quote: "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow." -- Wag The Dog
Mood: Unsure

Fool, you're a tool, a sheep

2005-11-24T00:53:00.000-05:00

I was watching Dazed and Confused tonight, definatly have no idea what that movie is about. And even though I didn't get it, I still liked it. I can definatly relate to a couple of the characters.

Hung out with the guys today. It was a good time, just like old times. Some days I miss the simplicity of it all. How easy life was back than. Life was simple, and I had something to care about.

God, I feel more and more like Edger/Edward/Elijah/Earnest/Emanuel. Consuming everything in sight only to shit it right back out again.

I hate having to make lists of the things that I want. I can never think of good ideas. I've got a great list of things that I want but I'll never get:
Motivation
Purpose
Luck

If anyone wants to get me some of the above for and of the upcoming holidays that would rock.

I am headed to the summit city for the next two days. It will be nice to see the family again. No internet, maybe my cell phone. Maybe I'll go hang out with the cousins.

We shall see.

Family Guy rocks.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Random 70's Music
Hero: The Most Random Things
Villain: Awkward
Quote: "Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes." -- Dazed and Confused
Mood: Good

Has left me wretched, retching on all fours

2005-11-21T22:45:00.000-05:00

I found out some stuff about a good friend of mine today. I'm concerend for him. I'm not sure if has made the correct decision. I'm tempted to seek out the advice of my "favorite person." She has gone through what he is thinking about doing and I think she might be able to give him good advice, but it won't be the advice I want him to hear. I don't know.

I'm glad I'm on Blogger, $25 a year for premiun Xanga, only to get features that Blogger gives you for free. And no layout control. I had more layout control on my LiveJournal. Oh well, it just convinced me not to mess with it anymore.

So many things I've ment to do this break that I never started. I love being me.

I've had one song in my head for the better part of a week. It isn't even that good of a song, but it is very catchy.

Tomorrow will be craziness at Mahoney's 21st, followed by a weekend of good times and good food. Don't expect anything till I'm back on Sunday.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Modest Mouse - I Came As A Rat
Hero: Long, Lazy Weekends
Villain: Early Mornings
Quote: "How much can you fit in the average ass?" -- Crackers
Mood: Sleepy and Annoyed

I know I like dancin' with you

2005-11-18T03:20:00.000-05:00

So after a long and crazy week, fall term is over. I have been waiting for this to happen for the past month. Now all that is left is the ugliness that is next term, but I'll survive.

So I got word back from Cat, no dice on a summer job. I am disappointed, but there are other places I can work.

It is a good feeling right now. Despite being very tired I feel wonderful. I feel alive. Well I felt alive yesterday before my final. It was amazing. I haven't felt like that in a very long time.

There are a few things that make me smile. I definatly smiled today.

I'm sorry Kelsey, life has been well, life-like.

I stole a couple of books from Killer, hopefully I'll read them over break.

I feel very creative right now, and it expressed itself in a way I didn't think it would. Funny when life throws a curve.

Well time for this guy to go to bed, at about 4:17am.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Flogging Molly - What Made Milwaukee Famous (Made a Loser Out of Me)
Hero: No Finals!
Villain: Many
Quote: "That was crap!" -- Bob, Meeles, Maggie, etc
Mood: dead

I've posted the same dark entries as you

2005-11-14T17:58:00.000-05:00

Bright Eyes rocked, I don't beleive I need to say any more. They were amazing on stage. I was completly impressed and happy. That was probably one of the ebst concerts I've ever been to.

There were a couple of bad things about the concert, Elizabeth does a better job of summing it all up better than I do. But the two openers who sucked a lot were: David Dondero and Willy Mason these guys sucked. Bright Eyes should have opened for itself. That would have been much better.

After the concert, I had a good long talk with Elizabeth, it was pretty nice. Her, Aydrian and I rocked out this restraunt called Trojan Horse. It was great. Really good food, defiantly makes me miss living in Bloomington.

I've got a lot running through my head, none of it will be written here. There are a couple people I'd love to talk to it all about, but time is something I never get enough of.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Bright Eyes - Arc of Time
Hero: Conor Oberst
Villain: The Scene
Quote: " I had to use every bit of my self-control to keep from smacking the hell out of them: the makeup, the clothes, the way they walk - idiots." -- Elizabeth
Mood: Good

I've heard it's quite quiet way out past the electric lines

2005-11-12T13:34:00.000-05:00

This would have been written last night but FireFox decided to die. So I went to bed and decided to do it now.

Last night was a good night, not much was accomplished and yet a lot was accomplished as well.

More and more I feel like a substitute person. Maybe I need to stop being so nice.

My Dream Garage:
BMW 507
Land Rover Range Rover Sport
BMW M6
Audi S4
Shelby Cobra
Mercedes 540K Special Roadster
Ducati 999s

Well that was a good distraction from my paper. Now I'm off to write it. More later.

Go visit this right now: http://www.ebaumsworldsucks.com/

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Chicago - Saturday in the Park
Hero: Random
Villain: Finals
Quote: "Its a beer for women, see the batteries go in the bottom." -- Red Car
Mood: best in a long while

Won't you smile you look so shocked

2005-11-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

Lab pratical tomorrow. I am only worried about getting up on time for it. I'm usually late to lab.

Maggie reading playboy, now this is pretty funny.

It was an excellent weekend. Having Gage here was great. It was good to see him again. Things have not been the same since he left. Hopefully things can return to normal next term when he is back.

Maybe, just maybe everything will work.

Is it giant bitch season?

Movie night was good as always, great movie. That one is in my top ten of all time.

All the stars are projectors, yeah
Projectin' our lives down to this planet Earth
It's all about moderate climates
You gotta be cold and be hot for sure
It's all about the moderate climates
You wanna be blessed and be cursed for sure
All the stars are projectors, yeah
Projectin' our lives down to this planet Earth [x2]
Everyone wants a double feature

Rodney Dangerfield...Rolling Stones....my life

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Iron and Wine - Naked As We Came
Hero: The Colts!!
Villain: stuff
Quote: "That was the best fuckin commercial I've ever seen!!!" -- Brittany LeClear
Mood: content

Fuck it all no regrets I'm staying in and you can bet it sucks outside in the pouring rain

2005-11-06T03:19:00.000-05:00

I've decided that german is a more expressive language right now. Hence a post in german. Well with a german section.

Ich kenne viel Leute und Alle sind beschissen. Ich kann nicht es beschreiben. Hier sind einige Adjektive.

verzweifelt
blöd
verwirrend
ärgerlich
abfordernd
rücksichtslos
kindlich
anwendend
launenhaft

Ich möchte Leute zu klugem hohem, aber wenn Wünsche Pferde waren, würden Bettler reiten. Ich bin auch sehr Blau. Das ist genug deutsch für einen Tag.

Sie ist hässlich dass es graut
wenn sie in den Himmel schaut
Dann fürchtet sich das Licht
Scheint ihr von unten ins Gesicht
So muss sie sich am Tag verstecken
Will das Licht doch nicht erschrecken
Lebt im Schatten bis der Schein vergeht
Sieht einen Stern im Zwielicht prangen und fleht
Mal mir Schönheit auf die Wangen

Morgenstern ach scheine
auf das Antlitz mein
Wirf ein warmes Licht
auf mein Ungesicht
Sag mir ich bin nicht alleine
Hässlich, du bist hässlich

Ich bin allein zur Nacht gegangen
Die späten Vögel nicht mehr sangen
Sah Sonnenkinder im Gewimmel und so
rief ich in den gestirnten Himmel

Morgenstern ach scheine
auf die Liebste meine
Wirf ein warmes Licht
auf ihr Ungesicht
Sag ihr sie ist nicht alleine

Morgenstern ach scheine
auf die Seele meine
Wirf ein warmes Licht
auf ein Herz das bricht
Sag ihr dass ich weine
Denn du, du bist hässlich
Du bist einfach hässlich
Der Mensch ist doch ein Augentier
Schöne Dinge wünsch' ich mir
Doch du, du bist nicht schön, nein

Morgenstern ach scheine
auf die Liebste meine
Wirf ein warmes Licht
auf ihr Ungesicht
Sag ihr sie ist nicht alleine

Und der Stern will scheinen
Auf die Liebste meine
Wärmt die Brust mir bebt
wo das Leben schlägt
Mit dem Herzen sehen
Sie ist wunderschön

Fuck being sappy.

Edited because my comments are not fit for public consumption.

Acton's gonna burn tonight

2005-11-04T22:09:00.000-05:00

Some things amaze me. Well many things amaze me. Mainly I am amazed by the inconsideration of other people. You are not the king of the planet, other people live here too. The smallest act of not thinking about yourself first could be a big deal in someone else's life.

Jarhead was an amazing film. It put me in a somber mood but it also conviced me that Sam Mendes is the best director on the face of the earth. You should all go see it.

I hate drama. I don't cause it why the hell do I have to deal with it so often.

I had a good talk with justin tonight. I'm glad he is planning on going to grad school here.

Land of the Dead is a good zombie movie. Very well done and entertaining. I suggest you go see that after Jarhead.

You can't say your opinions if you're always right
Even though you don't agree, other people might
Don't be a stubborn bastard, Try to think things through
Some people think differently, So why the fuck won't you

Because I couldn't talk to you
The way that I wanted to
But, mostly it's because
I suck and everybody hates me
Wish they'd all just go away
Why do you have to rub it in my face
Every God damn day
I sit around and wonder why

Eleventy Billion points to whoever knows which band's lyric the title is today.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Sheena Easton - My Baby Takes the Morning Train
Hero: BitTorrent
Villain: Bills
Quote: "Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!" -- American Beauty
Mood: blah

This is the realest thing

2005-11-03T01:39:00.000-05:00

Not much needs to be said. Life progresses just like how life usually does. Slowly.

I've been noticing many things. Some good some bad. No idea where it will all end up.

I've been in a very weird music mood lately. Not sure what I feel like listening to.

Wow this has been a really shitty update, I'll leave some good lyrics to enjoy.

Break cannot come soon enough. I need to take about eight steps back.

And here I dreamt I was a soldier
And I marched the streets of birkenau
And I recall in spring
The perfume that the air would bring
To the indolent town
Where the barkers call the moon down
The carnival was ringing loudly now
And just to lay with you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Save lay my rifle down

And try one, and try two
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, it's okay, guess it's better to turn this way

And I am nothing of a builder
But here I dreamt I was an architect
And I built this balustrade
To keep you home, to keep you safe
From the outside world
But the angles and the corners
Even though my work is unparalleled
They never seemed to meet
This structure fell about our feet
And we were free to go

And try one, and try two
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, okay, guess it's better to turn this way

And here in spain I am a spaniard
I will be buried with my marionettes
Countess and courtesan
Have fallen 'neath my tender hand
When their husbands were not around
But you, my soiled teenage girlfriend
Or are you furrowed like a lioness
And we are vagabonds
We travel without seatbelts on
We live this close to death

And try one, and try two
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, it's okay, guess it's better to turn this
But I won, so you lose
Guess it always comes down to
Alright, it's okay, guess it's better to turn this way

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: The White Stripes - Little Ghost
Hero: None
Villain: 9th Week (still)
Quote: "I pulled an ass muscle while playing with nick." -- Justin
Mood: meh

It's just once something dies you can't make it live

2005-10-31T01:25:00.000-05:00

After all the shit of this weekend today has been a pretty good day. I of course stayed up way too late, but that won't not happen here.

I went to Casey's Eagle Court down in Trafalgar(Raglafart for those of you from the area). It was good to see the 218 guys again. They are a fun group. They remind me a lot of 107 back when Gary was the Scoutmaster.

Despite having a pretty good day I'm still in a Bright Eyes/Modest Mouse mood. There isn't much like those two bands. So much passion in their music.

My thoughts go out to you, if you ever need a kind ear let me know. You know where I live. And the associate rabbi is always open to talk as well.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Modest Mouse - Tiny Cities Made of Ashes
Hero: THE Corset
Villain: 9th Week
Quote: "fubar" -- Saving Private Ryan
Mood: confused

An avalanche of opinions like the one that feel that I am now underneath.

2005-10-29T13:06:00.000-05:00

Well one class is now done. I finished the trade article, and so Tech Comm is offically over, as far as having to do something in there goes. One more test in German, Disco, and EDM. Finals in Disco and EDM. I can see the end of the quarter from hell.

Gage, I don't know if you read this, but there are good things happening. Things of course look bleak, but the good times from last year have came with all of the drama of this one.

Maybe I should clean up my desk, no I don't think I will.

Maybe I should take my own advice.

Maybe I should listen to the Associate Rabbi.
I think I will. Or not...

Maybe I should just hole up in the library every night, and not talk to anyone. I think I might be a lot happier.

Maybe she was it, maybe I threw it all away. I was happy, and I haven't been very happy since. Maybe I'll never be happy again.

Maybe I just need some time away from here. Or maybe I just need to stop drinking.

I'm going to save the soapbox for another day.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Alkaline Trio - Jaked on Green Beers
Hero: Weekend With Nothing to Do
Villain: Looming Finals
Quote: "The [object in the suck] is lava!" -- Bander & JJ
Mood: like Edgar, the empty shell of a man

and who do I think I am kidding

2005-10-28T01:23:00.000-05:00

passive-aggressive

Maybe all of these destructive thoughts will lead me somewhere other than the place I fear they will.

Last night I was alone (briefly) for the first time in a very long time and it was everything I thought it would be.

It took me 8 weeks but I finally figured out how to stay awake in disco. I think....

cast party friday, my house

shitty entry, I'll have something good someday

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Blink 182 - Anthem (Part II)
Hero: All Homework Done by Midnight
Villain: Classes
Quote: "It'll be just a minute on your shakes" -- Waitress at SnS
Mood: tired

We're oh so close, but yet so far

2005-10-27T01:32:00.000-05:00

If only you knew how that lyric applies..... (please don't read into it)
Everything is the reverse of what it used to be.

I've mentioned it to a couple people, but I've noticed that most everyone at this school is something posing as an engineer. There are some notable exceptions, like the guy who walks around with the pocket protector, and the really annoying sophomore in my Disco class, but for the most part we all are something else. English Majors, Actors, English Teachers, Musicians, Dancers, Mechanics, and Accountants just to name a few.

Everything I want to say wouldn't be prudent.

There is nothing quite like..
peacefulness
driving to get lost
gravel
headaches
wednesdays
good movies
(insert your own via comments)

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Bob Dylan - Ballad of a Thin Man
Hero: Ping Pong
Villain: Mathmatical Induction
Quote: "Rookie mistakes." - Bob, Aaron, and I
Mood: chill

The best thing you ever had has gone away

2005-10-25T00:47:00.000-05:00

~~Five~~ Six Random Things

1. I hate wearing hats. I look stupid in them and it bugs me to have something on my head.
2. I really miss playing an instrument. It was such a great stress relief. There are some days when I think I should get the hell out of rose and go be a music major at some liberal arts chool.
3. I'm a very good liar. Not many people can tell when I am lying. The secret to how you can tell lies in a Radiohead Song, good luck finding it.
4. I am a terrible dancer. I cannot begin to describe how bad I am at it. But that doesn't mean I don't try.
5. I hate the dust jackets on books. As soon as a crack open a book with one on it, I will take it off.
6. I am really fiercely competitive, but I never let it show.

I don't feel like tagging other people. So if you want to put five random things about you up feel free to, and you can say I tagged you.

I finished a book today. It was a reread, but that is cool cause rereading a book brings out much more that I missed the first time. Now that I have some technical knowledge the book made much more sence, it was great. It was a good feeling to finish it.

We spent 3 hours on a prelab and didn't finish it. It was rough, frankly I don't care that it didn't get done. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I wish Incubus wasn't ruined for me. They have some great songs and yet I cannot listen to them.

Oh and to clarify: Crystal, Maggie, and Killer did a damn good job dressing up. Ladies, I was impressed.

It seems appropriate to post lyrics the past couple days. 100 points to whoever knows what band this is. (There are two different songs by the same band here.)

how long do you think you can go before you lose it all?
before they call you bluff and watch you fall?
i don't know but i'd like to think i had control
at some point but i let it go and lost my soul
sit tight but the revolution's years away
i'm losing faith and i'm running low on things to say
so i guess i have no choice but to regurgitate
the tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite

me and mr. dylan on the ride home
we had a heart to heart about life
but neither him or me could decide for ourselves
if we wanted to outlive that night
like two children on the playground of the unconfessed souls
abandoned by our mothers and our lovers and our foes
if only we were brave enough to live the lives we stole
what a wonderful world this could be!

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Incubus - Nice to Know You
Hero: it doesn't feel like a hero kind of day, maybe tomorrow will have a hero
Villain: prelabs
Quote: "Julia will defend my honor." -- Killer
Mood: tired

Nixon had his puppy, Charles Manson had his clan

2005-10-23T02:29:00.000-05:00

Modest Mouse really fits my mood right now. Bitter and depressive. There is some quality in it that draws me in. I'm quite bitter and not very happy. Things need to change for me to really be happy. Lord knows that won't happen.

Kevin's 21st was a good time. Not many people dressed up, but that isn't such a big deal. These things happen.

Who am I really amazed at? I know the answer, and it isn't want I want it to be.
The truth is...

I'm an idiot. I don't think any explaniation is needed as to why.

Who the hell avoids drama? I live in a thriving pit of it.

The more I think about Bob's post (from a couple days ago), the more I realize that to some people I really am a substitute person.

So many rants in my head that arn't going to get published here.

To hell with caution, yeah it was directed towards you. And you know who you are. Atleast I think you told me you know who you are.

When personality is scar tissue
It travels south with this use
I'm subtle like a lion's cage
Such a cautious display
Remember take hold of your time here
Give some meanings to the means
To your end
Not even jail

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Modest Mouse - The View
Hero: movies
Villain: hangovers
Quote: "los los los!" -- Saving Private Ryan
Mood: here

Hammer my bones on the anvil of daylight

2005-10-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

Is it bad that I really wouldn't mind having a powerbook. Those things not only look sweet but have pretty sweet specs. I kind of feel like a traitor, but not really at the same time.

I'm a giant slack ass, but not as giant as sarah is of course, but still I'll be crankin on EDM all day tomorrow.

Went to the career fair, it was pretty nice. I talked to about 18ish companies. Some sounded really promising, but than again I've only got one interview lined up for tomorrow. So I was a complete dumbass and put the wrong on-campus phone number on my resume, so whoever is in NewRes 124, I'm sorry if you get phone calls for me.

Shit hit the fan. That is all I'm gonna say.

Why is it so hot in the office. It is definatly getting old.

There is one person I really wish I knew better. She has always seemed like a really cool person (ie someone I would love to hang out with) and I have never really gotten the chance to know her. If you are said person, I want to grab a cup of coffee with you. Contact me for details.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Alkaline Trio - Cooking Wine
Hero: Cigars
Villain: Stuff
Quote: "We won't be looking to hire interns till Feburary." -- Many, Many Companies
Mood: decent

I Think I'll Have Myself a Beer

2005-10-17T15:01:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna go ahead and say it....

I think the Dramagenator needs to be moved from the Tri-Delt house to the TSAV house. Maybe than we could all drive electric cars that are really fast due to the sheer amount of kWhrs at their disposal.

That is all, more later.

With nothing to prove

2005-10-16T00:39:00.000-05:00

Not much is more relaxing than chillin in the basement watchin the television. I've really got not much to say right now. Many thoughts, most of which are destructive. Maybe Maggie is wrong, maybe I'm the masochist.

I love the social commentary in South Park.

Goal Number 8 in life...........Own all the Episodes of South Park

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: South Park
Hero: CSz
Villain: No Cigars Until November
Quote: "your mom" -- Killer
Mood: little of this and a little of that

well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again

2005-10-13T16:25:00.000-05:00

sorry about the lack of a lot of gramnmer, i'm typing with one hand. i'm holding ice to my face with my other hand. i'm gonna complain right now cause my face hurts a lot. i took the pain meds but they didn't really help. so i've been chillin all day on the couch.

Much better the ice started leaking everywhere, so I got rid of it. My entire head hurts, I just feel like shit. I'm glad I've got the practice in ignoring pain by never taking meds. Otherwise this would be really unbearable. Blah, I have no motivation. I have to do hw and I have to watch firefly, but I don't feel like doing either.

Maybe I will get some motivation later, but I doubt it cause there are a lot of hockey games tonight. So I'll probably stay up late watching hockey till I can't keep my eyes open. Not such a bad life. This free preview of all NHL games kicks some major ass.

Well I think I've bitched out it enough for one day. Go listen to good music.

In the big roulette wheel of life, it always lands on double zero for me.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Star Trek: TNG
Hero: Nitrous Oxide
Villain: four extra holes in my mouth
Quote: nothing worth quoting
Mood: yeah

Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.

2005-10-09T23:42:00.000-05:00

I've been writing this post over the past three days. And I haven't had much to write about. Life is stagnent. Lots of the same thing. It took five weeks but the quarter is finally getting into a groove.

So many thoughts and so little time to sort all of this out. I think what maggie told me applies to a lot of things. I really wish I could remember everything I said to not just her, but to everyone that night. Or maybe it is good that I can't remember what I said. Who knows.

I've been in kind of an odd mood. Not sure why. Well that is a lie. I know why, but the solving will be the hard part.

Being cryptic is hard. I wish I could say what I really thought. Many things would change. But it wouldn't be prudent.

If only you know how well that quote applies.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: The Decemberists - Los Angles, I'm Yours
Hero: Break
Villain: Monday
Quote: "Kitty Genovese was murdered in broad daylight while everyone watched, but did nothing" -- Boondock
Mood: here

While poison ink spews from a speechwriter's pen, he knows that he doesn't have to say it

2005-10-06T01:11:00.000-05:00

Life is a rollarcoaster, and I think I'm in the queue.

It has been quite a couple of days. Many, many things are going on. None of them should be talked about in here.

The things that drove me crazy a week ago seem gone, but thoughts have a tendency of coming back.

This weekend will be crazy, FFF, tourney, and Galaxy Video Auditions. I love a good weekend to take my mind off of the week.

Work has done nothing but frustrate me. I've been having a hard time controlling the group I'm assigned to work with. The kids who were used to me moved up in age and now there are some young punks who need to be corraled into the way things go. I guess that happenes every year at the center, but it is still annoying.

Now is later

It seems that some people have stickes up their asses. They really need to get them out of there, it must hurt.

There are so many things I need to do, but I don't have the time to devote to doing any of them right now. In fact the things I need to stop doing are the things that keep be going.

Phrase of the Past Month: "Oh the irony..."

You know what really Grinds My Gears?
When people write 'u' instead of 'you'. It looks fucking stupid, and it makes you sound like an idiot. Same goes for 'r' and 'are'. People need to stop being lazy while they are typing.

So many things to do, and so little motivation to do them. They said sophomore year is the hardest, but that is becasue junior year doesn't feel real.

No-ones going to fucking tell me jack,
But can you rely on anyone in this world?
No you cant; its not my fault theres wall to wall empty cans
Everyone wanted this to all go wrong for me from the start,
Its fucked up that a mans life can just be attacked,
Watching this morning with a beer is much better relying on,
Unknown cunts for mates i was given that don't have my back.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Streetlight Manifesto -- Everything Went Numb
Hero: Netgear
Villain: laundry
Quote: "my name is maggie tiernan and I LOVE PENIS!!!" -- Killer
Mood: nicht schlecht

This is Urinetown

2005-10-02T20:05:00.000-05:00

The weekend was good. It felt like it lastest forever, which wasn't bad becasue there was just so much going on this weekend that it was nice to make it stretch on forever.

Lots of good times were had. Lots was drank. I woke up drunk for the first time, that was exciting.

I'm not in a very good mood right now. I do know why but at the same time I really don't. Some things just really get to me, and I know I shouldn't let them. It just seems like I've been really testy and all kinds of things get me all bent out of shape.

It has been a shitty quarter. It has been a shitty 8 months.

Times like these make me want to smoke again.

Is it too much to ask to just be genuinely happy? I'm really sick of the fake happy face.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Reel Big Fish - Suckers
Hero: Homecoming
Villain: Monday
Quote: "That is cause your name is Fucko" -- Second City
Mood: schlecht

Tried it out it's like nothing you ever seen

2005-09-30T01:42:00.000-05:00

Beth this is for you.

I did shave the beard and it has been about what it usually is after I shave it. A couple days of wondering
"Who the hell is that guy in the mirror?"
"Oh yeah it's me"

Nothing terribly exciting is happening. I've been kept busy with work and school. This weekend is Homecoming, and every prof has something assigned for monday. I'm gonna feel like shit on monday after being drunk and hungover all weekend.

I've been watching Moulin Rouge while writing this paper and it is pretty decent. I've been quite impressed.

So many things have been going through my mind, none of which are school related.

I really wish i had a Rosetta Stone. My life would be much simpiler. And I'd be able to read the writing on the wall.

I would love to go live on a commune. Really work for a living. Be outside, in the fresh air. Maybe I should have been a civil, if I like being outside this much. I know my classes would be a lot easier. However if I changed my major I'd also be back to being a sophomore. I'm not really down with that though. Computer Engineering it is!

Ever know exactly where you would like to be, yet you can't ever get there? That is where I am. Not the best of places. I would love to leave it, but the bridge is guarded by people speaking Russian, and I don't have a dictionary.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: The Decemberists - July, July!
Hero: Homecoming
Villain: Homework
Quote: "You know how I know you're gay?" -- 40 Year Old Virgin
Mood: tried, stressed, nothing but bad things

Build bridges to nothing, you'll get nowhere

2005-09-25T23:08:00.000-05:00

After a good weekend, I haven't got much to say. Nothing has changed, my life is kind of like a treadmill. Running to nowhere.

It isn't too bad, I'm not spiraling out of control towards a bitter fall. But by the same token I'm not climbing to great heights. Maybe I need to tone it all down a little, and stop being so excessive, or maybe I just need something to fill the void. Give my liver a break for a while. But than again, I need a chance to let the brain take some time off. Not much is better for that than salvation.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Bright Eyes - Make War
Hero: Everyone at the Party
Villain: Everyone not at the Party
Quote: "Ohh that is naughty!" -- Overheard at Hobo Wreasling
Mood: blank

But not before he'll stick it to you

2005-09-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah so I'm a terrible person, and I don't have the time to update or anything terribly new to write about. Things are going about as well as they ever do. I'm dropping a class, which means I'll get to work a little more, and it also means I'll finally be able to keep up in the rest of my classes. Well that is all since I've got to work my ass off in three of my classes to get back on the ball.

Well maybe I know why and maybe you could make it stop

2005-09-18T03:29:00.000-05:00

Well it is 3:30 and I can't sleep. Looks like I've got to stay up till I'm ready to pass out. God I hate doing this. I haven't had to do it since high school, and it is never any fun. Tomorrow is gonna suck, a lot.

I had this all worked out in my head before I abandoned my warm bed for the freezing office to try and wear myself out. I hate it when I lose my nerve to write what is really on my mind, or forget what my conviction was all about.

Ever feel terrible because of the actions of other people, even when you arn't directly responsible, I do.

I know exactly what it is I want, but I can never seem to get it. While others are like a kid in the candy store I've got nothin.

Went to IU on friday night, it was great to see Elizabeth again. Ran into Neil in town, which was quite a good time. Hopefully he will make it to the Snobs and Hobos party. I bitch a lot about rose, it is time to stop bitching.

Something essential is missing, I feel like a zombie. Just going through the motions of life. Not really here, but trying to impersonate someone who really might be.

I've tried to find meaning in so many different places and everytime I think I've got it, something happens to make it slip away. My meaning from last year disappeared over the course of this summer. And the only thing I've found out is that you cannot find meaning in the bottom of a bottle. It is a lame comparison, but at the end of the movie Cast Away, where he is spinning in a circle and can't decided where to go, yeah that is me.

Note to Self: Hold more private concerts in the office, and stop being a lame ass.

I'm wearin' myself a t-shirt that says "The world is my ashtray"
Our hearts pump dust and our hairs all grey
And I just got a message sayin' that hell has frozen over
Got a phone call from the Lord sayin' "Hey boy get a sweater. Right now!"

It takes a long time but God dies too
But not before he'll stick it to you
Well I ain't sure but I been told
You never die and you never grow old

Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Muse - Sing For Absolution
Hero: Heine
Villain: Lines at Oktoberfest
Quote: "I can't beleive that just fucking happened!" -- Boondock
Mood: about as meh as it gets

Eventually we began to see that we could be completely free

2005-09-15T21:22:00.000-05:00

I'd like to thank everyone who read my blog and everyone who commented. The was probably the longest blog post that I didn't write. I'd also like to thank the other contributors, Bob and Melissa for helping out with the story. I didn't enjoy the drama, but I did enjoy writing about it.

I was really amazed by her actions and words.

I'm sorry if you are bored by all of this middle school type of drama, but it is what is taking place right now.

And Katie, I've been meaning to tell you how much that comment ment to me, but it has been a busy couple of days. Your comment really made my day, and it really ment a lot to me.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Blue Man Group - Sing Along
Hero: Friends
Villain: No One Really
Quote: "It isn't as sexy when you spit it out!" -- Maggie
Mood: good

Let me tell you a story...

2005-09-14T17:57:00.000-05:00

***UPDATED, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST***

So today has been very funny. I wake up and get these two messages in my facebook. I've got them both reproduced below.

From:	Melissa Chrisman
To:	Adam Reynolds
Subject:	...
Message:	I think you are way out of place. My sis is an administrator and over the summer, we added 50 of our friends to a group. It's not a big deal. I sent a letter about your group to Erik Hayes, so I advise you to take off that group before soemthing happens that you don't want to!!!

From:	Melissa Chrisman
To:	Adam Reynolds
Subject:	another thing
Message:	You know it is illegal to be using my picture w/o permission, so I also contacted Facebook's security. REall mature, let me tell you!!!

Over the summer I read the description about the "The Real 100% 50 Hottest People at Rose, Biatches!!!". I saw that it was offensive, and generally not very nice. As seen below.

The last 50 hottest people group had some, well, not-so-hot-people. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the ONLY group with the 100% full hot people. If you are 80% hot, sorry, bitches, you lose. This is for purebreeds only. If you are a member, congratulations hottie, you are cool. If not: Option 1-try harder (more make-up, new face, new body, new wardrobe, etc.) Option 2-Kill yourself....please!!!

I made a parody group called "I am Hotter than the Real 100% 50 Hottest People at Rose". I got some people to join as well because it is really funny. This group has existed for about 2.5 monthes before anything was said to me about it.
For those of you who haven't seen the group I'm talking about I took a screen shot.

I responded to her message with the following message.

As per your rather uneducated sounding request I removed the picture with "BITC" photoshopped onto your forehead. However due to recent events, your picture will be on the group entitled "I am Hotter Than the Real 100% 50 Hottest People at Rose." It will remain there until my picture is removed from the group created by your sister entitled "Students against angry Trolls." Also, I'm aware that you have received a message from Bob Prescott which pretty much summarizes my thoughts. I'm sorry you can not be more mature about this. I have read the Terms of Service and the Privacy policy of facebook.com and nothing I did was out of line with those. To summarize, I refuse to take your picture off of my facebook group until mine is removed as well. Thanks. Adam

I was talking to bob and apparently he was messaged as well about this facebook group, his messages are below.

From: Melissa

I don't know if you think you are cool joining that group of me, but it is illegal to be using my pictue w/o my permission...so just so you know, I contacted Erik Hayes and Facebook's security of this problem. Really mature to do this, I mean, my sis and I made a silly group this summer and added 50 of our friends to join, it was "funny" to us cause it was a knockoff of the other "hottest people at Rose" group. So thanks and I hope you had fun!!

From: Bob

I'm not sure if you noticed, but just like you making fun of the other group, we were making fun of yours. Wow, sounds like the same thing you were doing, huh? And your group was much more offensive than ours was. Don't think I don't still have your original description of the group: The last 50 hottest people group had some, well, not-so-hot-people. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the ONLY group with the 100% full hot people. If you are 80% hot, sorry, bitches, you lose. This is for purebreeds only. If you are a member, congratulations hottie, you are cool. If not: Option 1-try harder (more make-up, new face, new body, new wardrobe, etc.) Option 2-Kill yourself....please!!!

That is directly offensive, unlike this group which was only implied offense by the picture. But, as you have noticed, the picture has been taken down, so there is nothing even remotely offensive about this group any longer.

It is too bad your feelings were hurt, but think of the people who were very much offended by your group. Don't be such a hypocrite and grow up.

Sincerely,
Bob

P.S. Look at the privacy and terms of agreement. It's not illegal.

Later I found out about a group made about me. Here is the screen shot.

Now it isn't any worse than the group I made, and I sent a request to join the group. Also, until my picture is removed from the "troll" group, Melissa's picture will remain on the "I am Hotter than the Real 100% 50 Hottest People at Rose."

Now things have gotten much funnier. I just received this responce to my very polite note.

From:	Melissa Chrisman
To:	Adam Reynolds
Subject:	re: ...
Message:	Ummm...as "per" what the crap? You mean "for" Anyway How dare you say I am uneducated sounding, first of all, I didn't make a group against you in the first place. Secondly, my sis made a group to make me feel better cause I was almost in tears seeing that last night, and it will be stopped though. Uneducated is lashing out at me for doing nothing against you in the first place!! Did that feel good though to see your face being made fun of? Probably not!! And I got a message back from Eric Hayes today that said if I wanted to, he could talk to you and you would get in trouble for my picture. If you don't believe me, I would be happy to forward it to you. I said no as of yet, cause you removed my pic. But now, I'm not so sure. And I also got a thing from Facebook saying if I responded they would deactivate your account, again I can send it to you to prove that that's real!! But YOU need to completely get rid of that group, NOT just the picture!! Or so help me I will say yes to those people. YOU DON'T KNOW ME, YOU HAVE NO VALIDITY TO CALL ME A BITC!! and what the hell??

This is what I sent back

From: Adam

No actually I did mean “per”. I was talking about the obvious spelling and grammar errors in your message. Honestly, I didn’t care about the group that your sister made. I thought it was funny. However, I didn’t want my picture attached to it. If you are going to hold me to a certain set of standards, you need to hold yourself to them first. I have no doubt that you have received from Erik Hayes and facebook. What you need to realize is that once I noticed that my picture was deleted I removed yours. I will not delete the entire group, because it is a group of me and my friends who feel that we are “hotter” than the “Real 100% 50 Hottest People at Rose, Biatches!!!” The picture was a joke, and I am sorry to see that you cannot take it as such.

She also sent me this.

From:	Melissa Chrisman
To:	Adam Reynolds
Subject:	re: ...
Message:	ps YOUR pic isn't on my site either, my sis took it off. You know if you had been more mature in the first place non of this would've happened...facebook is a joke, something people do when they're bored and wanna have fun...not a place to make fun of people

And my responce:

From: Adam

I noticed that my picture isn’t on that group, and I appreciate that. I have been very mature throughout this entire course of events. I agree that facebook is a joke. And if you can remember you were the person making fun of other people. Here is a quote from the group you created, and the reason I made my group: “If not: Option 1-try harder (more make-up, new face, new body, new wardrobe, etc.) Option 2-Kill yourself....please!!!“ I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get my joke.

Another message from her:

From:	Melissa Chrisman
To:	Adam Reynolds
Subject:	re: ...
Message:	no YOU DIDNT' TAKE MY GROUP AS A JOKE!!! that's how this whole thing started. And im sorry if I don't type perfect cause I type fast when I'm pissed...and I am freakin good at English, so don't you dare correct my grammar. Dont' take down your group, I dont' care, I just wanted my pic off. Yours already is cause I made her take it off. So no pics of me, no pics of you. I'm DONE...so get ova it!!

My Responce

From: Adam

Well, actually this whole thing started when you didn’t take my group as a joke. You wanted your picture off of my group and it is. I am “ova” it, and I’m glad to hear you are too.

Also she sent this nice note to Bob, after his reply.

From: Melissa
To: Bob

Oh my God!!! I made that group over the summer as a joke...We added 50 of our friends who we thought were nice and who we knew. You are so freaking immature to make fun of my group. You need to grow up and get a life if you take groups on Facebook seriously. YOu wanna make fun of the God Damn group?? Go ahead!! But don't put my pic on there. Oh and it is illegal!! Not to get you in trouble, but I got a responce from Facebook saying they would deactivate all of the group member's accounts if I said so. Because I have Erik Hayes and Tom Miller too. They said all I ahve to do is say the word and they would call you all in and make my pic be removed. If you didn't read my message before, I wasn't even slightly mean. YOu are just jealous that you are freakin ugly, and don't you dare write me back, I don't wanna waste my time on filth like you!!! Get a life you asshole!!!!! Oh, PS--you must not have a sense of humor cause my sis helped me make that group over the summer, and we were hyper and laughing at what we were writing cause it sounded funny. If ya'll take that and facebook seriously...you might wanna reconsider how you are living. SO GO FUCK OFF!!!

Bob's responce

From: Bob
To: Melissa

Huh. So you made that group as a joke, just as we made our group as a joke. And if you will notice, your picture is no longer up there. It was taken off as soon as we saw that Adam's picture was taken down. Feel free to take this to Erik Z. Hayes and Tom Miller. I have been nothing but civil over this entire matter. As far as I am concerned this whole thing is over, so chill. As long as your description no longer includes the rude and simply sick words, I couldn't care less about your group. And we won't have your picure up, so you have no reason to concerned over ours.

We are done.

~Bob

That is the story thus far. I'll keep updating as it unfolds. It should be really funny.

Also you should join the group that Elizabeth made, because Trolls Are Sexy!

For years, I kept to myself

2005-09-11T21:19:00.000-05:00

I'm not exactly sure why I have these bad thoughts. I know it is destructive and regressive, but I can't help it. It might be bad that right now I just feel like going back to the one sure thing I had, even if it was bad for me, atleast it was solid.

I know what Bander means. I very much understand.

I wasn't going to write this post until I was out past Seelyville, and it all kind of clicked in my head. I kind of realized that I had to write this. But now that I'm writing all of my brillant thoughts left. I wish I had something in my mind that could write it all down.

I had some great conviction going eariler, now I've lost it. I just wish I know what to say to you. I really want to talk. There are some things that need cleared up.

I do understand why people do destructive things to themselves. It took me a long to figure this out. But it all makes sence now.

I get the feeling that something is amiss.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Thursday - Understanding in A Car Crash
Hero: Bright Eyes @ IU
Villain: Thinking
Quote: "The Eyes and Voice of the Engineers."
Mood: not bad I guess

Getting hard to see the sun coming through

2005-09-08T00:26:00.000-05:00

It has been a very stressful few days. Overloading is a bitch. So much stuff to do. Not just classwork, but all the stuff for the clubs, and my two jobs as well. I've been very busy. It has been good being able to take my mind off of everything.

Atleast the rose guilt is gone. I finally feel productive again. There is so much to do, and yet not much I want to write in here right now. Posting might be sparse for a little while becasue well I've got nothing I really need, well nothing I can say in here right now.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Brand New -- Play Crack the Sky
Hero: the pirate bay
Villain: headaches
Quote: "I was the lesbian" -- Nick
Mood: tired

And all because I lacked conviction

2005-09-02T16:10:00.000-05:00

Watched I Heart Huckabees tonight. I didn't like it. I get what it is about, but I still didn't like it.

I have a lot that I would like to say, but no good way of saying it right now. I'll put it up soon, but I'm not sure when.

I wish I knew if there was any writing on the wall.

I'm watching a terrible, terrible movie. It is mildly entertaining.

So tonight was fun, but (and this is a very large but) it was not a great evening.
Here are the highlights of the night:

Cooking for the Indy and Muncie Girls
Pregame
Found Out I've Been Horribly Lied to
Foam
Adelphia
Beer Pong Against Adelphias
Elaine Stopped Me From Getting In a Fight
"...in a kind of dumb fury..."
IHOP
Bed

That is the very condensed version of what happened. Like the Readers Digest version.

I really wish people would be honast with me. I really hate people who lie, and are full of shit. There is a very good example I can think of right now who is full of shit. She better not hope to get any favors out of me. She broke my trust, and now she is out. I'm glad I helped one of Jake's froshies not make the same mistake I did. In my opinion she can go fuck herself.

The one thing I hate more than anythign else is being lied to. I don't care how hard the truth is, I still want to hear it. I am a very strong person, I can take it. But what really pisses me off is finding out 2nd hand, and I am very glad I found out btw, that someone is full of shit.

I cannot beleive this happened, but I guess I should have expected this to happen. Someone is off chasing a pipe dream, and you are left fucked over. God, I sound like an emo kid.

I'm actually very amazed I didn't get into a fight tonight. Mad props go out to Elaine for stopping that from happening. But all that stuff is for another time.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Reel Big Fish - Drunk Again
Hero: Coughdrops and Deathcups
Villain: Girls, Keep in mind there is a difference between girls and women
Quote: "Those sneaky bastards!" -- Dr. Zoetewey
Mood: meh

Searching for something to say

2005-08-31T23:45:00.000-05:00

I'm very conflicted. I don't know what I want. I have an idea, but it is hard to take that idea and make something out of it.

Maybe I need to take some time off.
Maybe I need to take a step back.
Maybe I need to reorganize.
Maybe I need to change everything.
Maybe I need to stop looking so close.
Maybe I need to stop whining.
Maybe I need to forget all of it.
Maybe I need to be sneaky.
Maybe I need to get out more.
Maybe I need to stop being so mopy.
Maybe I need to do something about it.

We'll see

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Ben Folds Five - Eddie Walker
Hero: Happy Tree Friends
Villain: Confusion
Quote: "Want a kazoo?" -- Sami
Mood: ill

That could show me that you give a shit

2005-08-30T19:49:00.000-05:00

I'd first like to appologize about not making the trip. It has been a very stressful week, and I needed a day where I could relax and not do much.

Watched Closer tonight. Great movie. Everything comes full circle. It would be nice if life was really like that.

So I've been a huge slacker. Lots of things have been going on. Here is a short list:

New Friends
Huge Overestimation
Death to My Stuff
Acceptance
Reviving the Old
Fixing that Which Has Broken
Lots of Headaches

That about sums up what has been going on in my life. Mostly. I'm still torn about a couple things, but once I've gotten some clarity it will all be good.

It has been a good time leading up to school. I'm ready for it to start and to see the people I haven't seen yet. I've been spending a lot of time with a couple different people, and it has been quite nice. We shall see how my chillin habits change once I finally find the new term groove.

I'm really looking forward to the ability to get very involved with RDC this year. It is the first club I've gotten to really get involved with at rose, and it will be nice to rock it out. Hopefully the events of this year will set-up the events of next year. Esspecially for the 24 hour play stuff. Hopefully I'll be able to run with that and turn it into something unique and fun.

It is very nice to not have that huge burdon over my head that I had last year. I'll be able to relax and enjoy the last two years I have left here. Tomorrow will be full of errands and I rush around to try and get all of this stuff sorted out.

I've decided to go to the woodsie dance on thurs. It will be really funny.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Blast Soundtrack
Hero: ourTunes
Villain: Headaches
Quote: "Something's going on. It has to do with that number. There's an answer in that number." -- Pi
Mood: tired

A melancholy town where we never smile

2005-08-25T23:22:00.000-05:00

After work I went to go chill with Troop 14, those are some cool kids right there. They are getting much better. I am really impressed with the progress they are making. They still need some help cooking, but they are getting much better.

This party is going to be crazy. We have entered the preperation stage, and it will be awesome. If you can make it you should come.

I really can't wait for it. Only one more day of work, than it will be chillin till school starts. I'm headed up to BSU on mon or tues. I'm gonna be chillin with Aleasha, and I've got to visit Nate to deliver his birthday present. If you want to chill with me send me an IM or drop me a line somehow.

This is almost going to turn into an Indiana college tour, we shall see.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: The Party Mix
Hero: Mahoney and Hef, both get mad props in my book
Villain: 1 More Work Days
Quote: "There isn't much to do today." -- Xing
Mood: tired and good

Who have passed the test just like all the rest

2005-08-24T18:13:00.000-05:00

It is amazing how it is the little things in life that really matter.

I finally got the new computer up and running, it is wonderful. The best part about it, is that this computer is mine. It isn't a dell or a gateway, it is an Adam. It will alse be nice to have something that can run all of the newest games. The laptop is all right, but it isn't anything special. One more week and it will be awesome.

I'm really looking forward to the party. It will be a really great time.

I'm glad to know where I am, but I'm more glad to know where I want to be.

I've noticed that many people say they need to work on themselves. I've never been able to do that. I can't just sit there and say to myself that I'm gonna be a better person and not do all these terrible things that I typically do to myself. I've found I become a better person the more I do things that I hate, and the more I suck it up and just deal with it the better I am at dealing with life. This isn't directed towards anyone, so I'm sorry if it seems that way.

I've heard that some people don't like reading in my blog about the things that I do. You are just going to have to deal with it. This is my blog, and if you don't like what I write about than you don't need to be reading it. It isn't your place to be policing me. I speak my mind once, and I get put under a microscope.

List 10 things that make you happy and tag 5 more people
I was tagged twice so I'll list 20 things, and they are in no order other than when I think of them
1. My friends from all over the place
2. Live Music
3. Good movies
4. When the weather is "Perfect Driving Conditions" - high 70's to low 80's, minimal humidity, blue sky spotted with clouds, and lots of sun
5. Woodchuck Cider
6. Pay Day
7. My New Computer, The Monolith
8. Muffins
9. Mexican Food
10. The feeling of accomplishment when you complete something big
11. Going about 85 on I-70 with the windows down in the summer
12. Bagels
13. Having Rose Guilt
14. 14CCC
15. Singing
16. Getting to do New Product Development
17. RTFM
18. MOHAA
19. The fact that it is after August 21st
20. The Mehokquiman guys

I'll tag:
1. Bob
2. Mike
3. Killer
4. Nick
5. Sami (leave it in a comment on mine since you don't blog anymore)

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song: Rancid - Maxwell Murder (still)
Hero: Remote Desktop
Villain: 2 More Work Days
Quote: "I'd play with her boobs in the name of science!" -- Bob
Mood: good